Collection of Soviet, East German and Cold War jokes（5）

107.

Khrushchev's speech was played in the mental hospital. After a while, everyone applauded warmly, and only one person stood still. Others asked: "Why don't you applaud?"

Answer: "Because I am a doctor."

108.

Question: Why do people make rationalized suggestions to install activity brushes on the new TV, like the wiper on the windshield of the car.

Answer: This is because someone always spit up.

109.

If you put your hand on the radiator, what will it say?

Oh my god, your hand is too warm.

110.

Question: What is colder than cold water in Romania?

Answer: Hot water.

111.

Q: How to stop the Albania tanks that are moving forward?

Answer: Kill the soldiers who are pushing the tank.

112.

The Soviet computer technology was significantly behind the most advanced level at the time, especially in terms of integrated circuits. Even chips, due to the consistent Russian bulky style, became particularly large.

As a result, the "True News" can only report this: my country's great Soviet Union has created the world's largest chip!

113.

One day, in a cemetery in Moscow, two people were talking ...

"Why are you frowning today?"

"Yesterday, a car accident in a bus, no one was spared in the car."

"Oh, that's very miserable, let's mourn them together!"

"No, I'm not sad for this!"

"then you……"

"That shuttle bus is from KGB."

"Oh? What are you sad?"

"There are 3 seats on the car are empty."

114.

Khrushchev visited a collective farm and talked about the problem of dairy production. Khrushchev asked: "Can you hand over more dairy products and ensure production increase every year, for example, 5 %?"

The chairman of the collective farm replied: "Yes! Comrade Khrushchev!"

Khrushchev was very happy and continued: "What about ten percent?"

"Yes! Comrade Khrushchev!"

"20 %?"

"Can!"

"Fifty percent?"

"Can!"

"One hundred percent?"

"Ah? !!! No !!!"

"why?"

"That's the only water!"

115.

Before being repatriated back to Armenia, the family and friends who stayed in the West agreed that in order to prevent the author's letter prosecution, if everything was good, he would send them photos. Okay, just sit.

Soon, the family really came to the photo, and the people above were lying down.

116.

Two intestinal parasites of East Germany climbed out:

"Mom, what is that big, what is glowing?"

"Son, this is the sun."

"Mom, what is the wavy rolling, what is the flashing thing?"

"Son, it's the sea."

"What is the place that exudes the fragrance?"

"It's a forest, son."

"There are so many good places, why do we live in the ass?"

"Child, that's our motherland!"

117.

(Historical incident) Some night during the climax

Stalin and several political bureau members resting in the back garden were arguing for Sirius.

Some people suggested to call the Observatory to ask clearly that after a large cleaning, the Observatory only left the officer sent by the Ministry of the Interior. So the officer hurried to the home of an old expert who was placed in a house.

Old experts saw the car in the Ministry of the Interior in the middle of the night, frightened and committed suicide on the spot ...

118.

Brezhnev does not understand football. Someone gave him a football,

He said, "Thank you for your medal. But it looks like Khrushchev."

119.

In the Soviet Union, a person gave a speech at the employee conference. He worked hard to talk about how rich the Soviet people ...

At this time, Robinoovic raised his hand and said, "Where are our meat?"

The next day, that person came to speak again.

Hemomovic raised his hand and asked, "I don't want to know where the meat is going. I just want to know where Robinoovic has gone?"

120.

Question: Why does Albania rubber band shortage?

Answer: They are planning to launch a satellite.

121.

Why is Ceosku held a mass rally on May 1?

"He wants to see how many people can survive after winter."

122.

Question: Angels, devil, stupid policeman, and smart policeman are in a house. Who did it?

Answer: Stupid policeman, the other three do not exist.

123.

Question: Why did American friends get Poland's medicine?

Answer: The manual is written very clearly: "Take three meals a day"

124.

It turned out that the meritorious actor who had always played Stalin went to Khrushchev with a large suitcase and said, "You have stink Stalin, I have to be unemployed."

After the actor left, leaving the leather bag in Khrushchev's office. Khrushchev opened curiously, and it turned out to be the Marshal of the Dalin wearing. He thought that when Stalin was dressed in Marshal, he was unpredictable, and he enjoyed a high prestige among the people. Khrushchev tried to put on the Marshal suit and looked up and down to the dressing mirror.

At this time, Mi Gaoyang gently pushed the door into Khrushchev's office. He looked at it suddenly and fell to the ground for mercy: "Comrade Stalin, everything can't blame me. ! ""

125.

Comrade Mikhail visited the United States, and Mr. Ronald invited him to enjoy the latest American scientific and technological achievements: fully automatic super comfortable toilet.

After using, Comrade Mikhail admired from the bottom of his heart and secretly determined: my country must also develop.

After returning to China, a management department was established and progressing smoothly. However, Mr. Ronald suddenly visited the Soviet Union. Comrade Mikhail was caught off guard and held an emergency meeting to give a military order to the relevant department: three days later, it must be made.

Three days later, the newspaper said: Ke also.

Comrade Mikhail negotiated with Mr. Ronald. Soon Mr. Ronald had a good intention. Above the toilet of the end, the incident was really comfortable. I thought that the Soviet Union was really powerful. In such a short time, I developed so comfortable in such a comfortable development. Toilet. No, I have to study it and provide first - hand information for the development of our country. So Mr. Ronald opened the toilet lid and twisted the button.

I saw one hand under the toilet and wiped Mr. Ronald's face carefully.

126.

Comrade Nikita came to Washington to visit Mr. John, and Mr. John was attentive in the White House. During the banquet, a grilled sausage was on the kitchen.

After Comrade Nikita ate it, he praised him for its deliciousness. Mr. John boasted to Comrade Nikita: "In our American farm, the production of delicious sausages has reached the level of complete automation. You just need to drive a pig to the sausage manufacturing machine Go on the entrance, and the one will automatically come out of the string of sausages after a short time ...

Comrade Nikita nodded while chewing sausage, Mr. John was very proud. At this time, Jacqueline sitting on the side ordered her to withdraw her. Comrade Nikita asked Mr. John: "What do you do with the withdrawal sausage?" Mr. John replied: "When the garbage falls off!"

Comrade Nikita shook his head and said, "In our place, as long as the remaining sausages are thrown into the exit of our sausage manufacturing machine, the machine will run out of a pig after a long time ..."

127.

Comrade Nikita earned a large foreign exchange every year because of the abundance of beer in Democratic Germany, and decided to imitate it and start sending people to study the technology of making beer. After the first batch of beer was manufactured, Comrade Nikita sent some samples to the quality of democratic Germany.

A month later, the Democratic Germany's Ubolich wrote to Nikita: "Congratulations, Comrade Nikita, the horses of your country are healthy!"

128.
On the streets of Moscow during the Soviet Union, a boy held a countdown book and asked: "Grandpa, what is the queue?"

"You have to know that in the decaying feudal Tsar era, there was no enough meat in the store, so people had to wait for the long line in front of the store to buy meat. This is called a queue. Do you understand?"

"Okay, grandpa. But what is the meat?"

129.

A CGC manager wrote a letter to the other KGB officials.

"How to write the beginning of the letter?" The typist asked, "Is it a respectable gentleman?"

"Dear? But he is a full sliding head and butcher, you can't call this way. Either call dear peers!"

130.

An old woman waited two hours before squeezing into the car. When she finally got on the car, she wiped her forehead and said, "Finally came up, thank God!"

The driver said, "Big Mother, you can't say that. You must say" Thank you Comrade Stalin "."

"Sorry, comrades." The old lady replied, "I'm a backward old woman. I will say what you said from now on."

After a while, she asked again, "Sorry, comrades, I'm very old and stupid. If I don't let God, Stalin is dead, then what should I say?"

"Okay, then you can say‘ thank God ’!”

131.

Stalin was about to die. He recruited Khrushchev: "Nikita Sergeyevic, I know you will inherit me and surpass me," Stalin said, "I prepared two letters for you. When you encounter a crisis, you will open the first seal; if you encounter it again, you will open the second block. "

Khrushchev took two letters. In 1956, he met the crisis of Hungary and Suez. So Khrushchev opened the first letter, saying: "Blame on my head!"

So the 20th National Congress of the CPSU was held, and Stalinism ended.

In 1964, Khrushchev met the coup of Brezhnev and Koskin again, so he opened the second one and saw it: "Prepare two letters."

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[Knowing the Xinghe Bubble: Soviet (Su Xiu), Eastern Europe and Cold War jokes (5)] [2]