Collection of Soviet, East German and Cold War jokes（10）

235.

"Suppose you are in the bar, and a stranger sitting next to you and starting to sigh, what should you do?

"Immediately stop this anti - Soviet propaganda."

236.

"Can there be a two - party system in the Soviet Union?"

"No, impossible, because we can't afford it."

237.

-What is the most common in the Soviet Union?

——The difficulties.

238.

Outside of the Soviet period, Moscow's Lubina (KGB Headquarters) building.

A frowning man said to himself: there was no soap, the battery was not, and there was no socks. Native

At this time, a person who looked at the plainclothes whispered to him: Comrade Citizen, if you slander our great socialist country like this, I will take a pistol to knock your head!

The man looked at the plainclothes police officer and continued to talk to himself: Look, not even the bullets ...

239.

There is such a question on the survey table: Have you shaken when performing the total route?

Labonovic replied: "I shake with the main route together."

240.

Labinovic went to a capitalist country for a business trip, where he took a telegram to the unit: "I chose freedom." After the incident, the unit immediately convened the party congress to condemn Rabinovic and wanted Make organizational conclusions. In the middle of the meeting, Labinovic suddenly entered the venue! The audience was dumb.

Robinovic said, "I am very interested, how do you understand freedom."

241.

——The Sixth sense of the Soviets is the most developed?

——The high degree of satisfaction.

242.

——In the Soviet Union, what are 40 teeth and 4 legs?

--Crocodile.

——In the Soviet Union, what is 4 teeth and 40 legs?

-Politburo

243.

In a speech in East Germany, Khrushchev just read the "Great Country ...", and there was a sale of "popcorn, fragrant, sweet and crispy popcorn" outside. Essence Essence

Khrushchev did not care, and continued his speech, but when he just finished speaking, there was a sip of "popcorn, fragrant, sweet and crispy popcorn!"

After repeating it this way, Khrushchev finally couldn't help but scolded: "Who shouted, stood up for me, and see that I won't kick you to the Berlin wall!"

As soon as Khrushchev finished speaking, the audience of the audience stood up and shouted: "Jump rice flowers, fragrant, sweet and crispy popcorn!"

244.

On the May Day Labor Day parade, a very old Jews held a slogan: "For my happy childhood, thank you, Comrade Stalin."

The party representative found him: "What do you mean? Are you ridiculed our party? Everyone can see that when the child was still a child, Comrade Stalin was not born!"

"To be precise, that's why I thank him."

245.
After Gorbachev issued a restriction order, he wanted to buy wine and only lined up in the designated sales office to buy it.

A Moscow queued up annoyed and said, "I want to kill Gorbachev at the Klinslin." Then he turned and left.

He came back for a while, and the person next to him asked him, "Have you killed it?"

He said, "What do you do! The team there is longer than here."

246.
A young East German citizen made a request to his chief: he wanted to get a permission to immigrate to West Germany.

"Why do you want to leave the socialist paradise, little comrade?"

"Chief, I have a main reason and a secondary reason. The secondary reason is that I know that our party has established a paradise in democratic Germany, and I am afraid that this paradise will not last long."

"Don't worry! Child, it will always be heaven here."

"Well, okay, the head of the head, this is the main reason I said."

247.

"Is the skyscraper in the United States the highest in the world?"

"Yes. But the transistor made by the Soviet Union is the largest in the world."

248.

"If we let go of the western boundary control, what should we do?"

"Run immediately to Siberia to avoid being stepped on."

249.

"Why did the guy who shooting a government luxury car fought at the red field?"

"Because just happened to be next to his citizens, he desperately grabbed the gun and called:‘ Let me shoot! ’”

250.

"Why don't the Chinese government rush to the moon?"

"What if the astronauts refuse to come back?"

251.

"" Why is the patrol police always three people? "

"This is a special arrangement. One can read, one can write, and naturally the third one must monitor these two intellectuals at any time."

252.

Someone sent Comrade Lenin to heaven by taking a relationship, and this atheist was accepted.

After a few days, this man called God to express his gratitude and the phone was connected. He said, "Are you God?"

God replied: "First of all, there is no God. Second, everyone here is a comrade. Third, please say that I have to attend the party congress."

253.

Somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean, the Soviet Union and the United States nuclear submarine happened to surface in one place.

The crew of the Soviet submarine stood on the deck without ordering, and the half - drunk captain shouted angrily: Who threw the boots onto the console? I asked again: Who fucks throw the boots on the console?

It happened that the captain on the American submarine deck heard that compared with the Soviet captain, he not only scratched his beard but also shaken. And his men are even more orderly.

Obviously he is proud. He said: Oh, if this is in our United States-

The head of the Soviet Union interrupted him impatiently: OK, there will be no more America from now on - I ask again, who fucks throw the boots onto the console? Intersection

(Note: A sailor throwing boots hit the river egg launch button on the console)

254.

Brezhnev read the speech in the Winter Olympics: "O (嗷) - O (嗷) - O (嗷) - O (嗷) - -o (嗷)."

"No," his assistant whispered to him, "that was the symbol of the Olympic Games.

255.

A U.S. spy came to Rubyan (Cog's location):

Spy: I am a spy, I want to surrender.

KGB personnel: Which country's spy?

Spy: American.

KGB personnel: Then go to Office 5.

The spy came to Office 5.

KGB personnel: Is there a weapon?

Spy: Yes.

KGB personnel: Then go to Office 7.

KGB personnel: Where is the communication equipment?

Spy: Yes.

KGB personnel: Then go to office 20.

KGB personnel: Is there a task?

Spy: Yes.

KGB personnel: Then perform tasks, don't hinder others' work here. "

256.

A political commissar of the Soviet Union went to the countryside to inspect and met a farmer on the road, so he asked him how the harvest of this year.

The farmer replied: "This year's potato harvest is good, and it is almost piled to God's feet."

The political commissar is very happy but righteous: "Comrades, we are a socialist country, and there is no God without believe in God."

The farmer said, "That's right, we have no potatoes."

257.

There are three dogs, a American dog, a Polish dog, and a Russian dog. Once, Polish dogs and Russian dogs came to the United States. American dogs teach them how to do it.

American dogs say: In this country, you know, as long as you call for a long time, if you call, someone will come to give you meat.

Polish dogs asked: What is "meat"?

The Russian dog asked: What is "called"?

258.
"Khrushchev is a silly X"

"You were arrested for selling national secrets"

"Oh heaven! I didn't say which Khrushchev was!"

"You all said it was stupid X?"

259.

Russia, a little boy asked his father: Dad, can he give me 5 rubles?

His father: 20 rubles?

What do you want 50 rubles to do?

(After the Soviet Union disintegrates Russia's inflation is serious)

260.

Comrade Brezhnev, I heard that you collect political jokes, is it true?

-Yes.

-Wah are you collecting now?

-In three semi - labor camp.

261.

"During the conflict between the Sino - Soviet Treasure Island border, the Chinese mainly adopted the tactics of the small stock troops on the border, and each small share had about one to two million troops."

262.

The United Nations conducted a questionnaire survey: "Regarding the lack of food in other parts of the world, please tell us your most honest views?" As a result, the investigation failed.

The Soviets do not know what ‘please’.

The Italians do not know what is 'honest'.

The Chinese do not know what ‘view’ is.

Europeans do not know what is 'scarce'.

Africans do not know what ‘food’ is.

Americans do not know what is 'other parts of the world'.

Original link:
[Knowing the Xinghe Bubble: Soviet (Su Xiu), Eastern Europe and Cold War Joke Collection (10)] [2]