Collection of Soviet, East German and Cold War jokes（2）

28. (Note: Chabayev, the hero of the Soviet domestic war, its literary and film and television image was promoted overwhelmingly)

The local Soviet Union organized students to visit the civil war veterans. They introduced a veteran who finally saw Chabayev's alive. The organizer asked the veteran to talk about his historic meeting with Chabayev.

The veteran began to tell his story.

"When I was holding a Mark Qin heavy machine gun to climb up to a ridge of the river, I saw Chabayev. He was trying to swim the river. I shot him for a while, but he sneaked into the water Essence

When I saw him surfaced, I shot him again for a while. Children, this is the last Chabayev I saw. "

29.

In the museum, the wizard introduced the skeleton of Vasili Ivanovich Chabayev.

"Who is the small skeleton next to him?" A tourist asked.

"It was Chabayev's childhood."

30.

"What are these arrangements for these days?" What arrangements do you have every day? "

"9 am: Resurrection.

10 am: Intravenous injection breakfast.

At 11 am: prepare for work meals.

12 am: Work meal.

1 pm: Remove the medal.

At 2 pm: New medals were awarded.

3-5 pm: Take a break.

6pm: Prepare for a meal.

7pm: Work meal.

8pm: Clinical death.

9 am the next day: Resurrection ....... "

31.

An old general and his grandson are walking.

‘Grandpa, can I be a general when I grow up?”

"Of course."

"Can I become marshal?"

"That can't, the marshal also has their own grandson."

32.

At a banquet at Caucasus, the host stood up and worshiped and said:

"I propose to toast for Comrade Brezhnev. But I have to explain some explanations.

I did not toast for him because he was the head of the country, and he had a salary in this position.

I did not toast for him because he was the Soviet highest Soviet chairman, and he had a second salary in this position.

I am not even toast for him because he is the first marshal of the country. He has the third salary in this position.

I was the first to find a toast by a salary that was difficult to maintain by a salary in reality. "

33.

Foreigners said, "You can't drink Bailan, it's a pity!"

The worker said, "No, we have already drank it through government officials because they are our representative!"

34.

A foreign journalist asked Brezhnev: "Excuse me, how do you solve the supply of such a large country?"

"This is simple, I solve it by concentrating the country.

First of all, all the products were transported to Moscow, and residents from various places got one from Moscow. "

35.

A worker asked: "Comrade Brezhnev, our country is walking on the road leading to the great future, but there is no supply everywhere. The people have nothing to eat. How can I understand this?"

Brezhnev replied: "Who promised to eat on the road?"

36.

The two skeletons met in the cemetery.

"Do you die before the food supply plan or after?"

"I'm still alive."

37.

When Brezhnev was in the haircut, the hairdresser always asked him some questions about Poland.

In the end, Brezhnev interrupted him: "Why do you keep asking me about Poland?"

"This is good for me to work. Every time I ask you, you are angry."

38.

"Is there a friend or a brother between the Soviet Union and the Czech Republic?"

"Of course it's a brother. Friends choose each other voluntarily."

39.

Tas News announced:

"The Soviet leaders who signed the normalization of Soviet relations are Brezhnev (comrades), Glechco (Minister of Defense) and T-64."

40.

The logo of the Soviet Union is the sickle, the hammer and the Venus. They gave us our great spirit to our Poland.

You see, with a sickle, you can hold our neck and hammer our head with a hammer. Isn't it all risked in Venus in the eyes?

41.

"How much is a bottle of volt in 2050?"

"5 yuan." (Yuan)

42.

Kennedy and Khrushchev came out of the room opposite and entered another house.

"We are finally fully disarmed!" Kennedy said.

"Yeah, we can finally trust each other!" Khrushchev responded happily.

"Talking enough, please go back to your room!" A Chinese prison guard said.

43.

Before the October Revolution, the Chuki people only felt cold and hungry. Now they feel cold and hungry, and they are deeply grateful to Bolshevik.

44.

"How do smart Jews talk to stupid Jews?"

"Very proud to call from New York."

45.

The old sow of a collective farm gave birth to three piglets, so the farm party committee held a meeting to discuss how to report it.

The participants thought that although only 3 heads were given, they were less, but they were not better than.

After research, they decided to report to the district party committee that they had 5 piglets.

The district party committee analyzed the report of the farm and decided to report to the Ministry of Agriculture of the Soviet Union that 7 piglets were given.

After consideration, the Ministry of Agriculture decided to report to the Soviet Central Committee: "It has completed the task of producing 20 pigs in this quarter, and it is completed in advance."

After the Soviet Central Committee was finally considered, it was decided to report to Brezhnev: "The country has completed the production tasks of 25 pigs throughout the year in advance."

"This is great!" Brezhnev was quite happy. He thought for a while, and then issued the instructions: "Please allocate the following plan: 3 pigs allocated to the hero city Leninrad workers, 3 to Hero City Moscow, 5 for export, 5 heads to assist Africa hungry children. The remaining ones for strategic food reserves must not be given to anyone! "

46.

"What is a small theater?"

"The Grand Theater after the visit to the abroad is a small theater."

47.

Late at night, Moscow's masterpiece. The young Wa Lianjia was awakened and felt very scared, so he woke up his father and asked:

"Why do thunder?"

Dad replied, "Ah, who must be lying and anger Tiaogong, so he thundered."

"But isn't everyone sleeping now?"

"No, the" Truth "and" Message "at night are paid!"

48.

A Naval Ministry of Mongolia was established.

The Soviets asked: "Are you inland countries, what naval ministry?"

The Mongolians replied, "Aren't you also set up the Ministry of Culture?"

49.

A light bulb in the White House burned.

Nixon pressed the button, a staff member came in and changed a light bulb. Nixon gave him $ 5.

A light bulb in the Kremlin was broken.

The guard of Brezhnev called a staff member who changed a light bulb. Brezhnev gave the guard a medal and gave the staff a medal.

Brezhnev looked at it and felt that the new light bulb was good and gave him a medal.

50.

A French, an American, and a German train took a train from Bonn to East Berlin. Suddenly they found a devil catching the train. They were all frightened.

The French grabbed all his francs and threw it out of the window.

He said, "Maybe this can content the devil."

The devil continued to chase.

The United States grabbed all his dollars and threw it out, and the devil kept chasing.

East Germans stretched their heads out of the window and shouted in the wind.

The devil suddenly stopped and began to run away in the opposite direction.

"What did you say?" His companions asked.

"I told him that if he continues to run, he will enter East Germany soon."

51.

Two East German police stood near the Berlin Wall and chatted.

One question: "What do you think of our regime?"

Another answer: "The same view is the same as you."

"In this case, I will be responsible for arresting you!"

52.

The two prisoners met in prison.

One of them asked, "What is the reason?"

"I am a bicycle retailer, calling for letting Eriseonak step down. What did you do before?"

"I used a telescope to observe Eris Eunx."

"It's nothing!"

"Yes, but I installed a rifle under the telescope ..."

53.

Why is East Germany's economy below the knee?

Because she wants to squat first and jumps more than the capitalist economy.

54.

Who is the greatest surgeon in the world?

Of course it was Walter Ublich. He transformed the heart of Europe into the butt of the world.

55.

Finally, the satellite brand car is not installed by the delivery -

Because everything in East Germany is down anyway ...

Original link:
[Knowing the Xinghe Bubble: Soviet (Su Xiu), Eastern Europe and Cold War jokes (2)] [2]