Collection of Soviet, East German and Cold War jokes（8）

185.

-What would there be any results if the crocodile ate Brezhnev?

-The crocodile will be connected to the medal for a week.

186.

A Soviet cargo ship was hijacked by the pirates of the people, and the pirate was ready to eat all the seafarers. The captain asked:

"Dear gay, have you ever been collectively?"

"No!"

"Have you ever had personal worship?"

"No!"

"Have you ever been in October?"

"No!"

"Okay, then I really can't understand why you are so cruel ..."

187.

Brezhnev is talking to workers:

"Soon we can live better!"

A sound came from the stage:

"What do we do?"

188.

A Brezhnev is reading a more and more report on KGB's application for immigration.

Brezhnev turned to Coskin, "If we keep issuing an immigrant visa, one day the country will get you and me."

Coskin responded: "Don't count me in."

189.

A gun rang from the backyard of a house in Odessa. Sara's head out of the window: "Ebram, what's wrong? Did they send meat to the store?"

"No, it's because Brezhnev arrived in Odessa."

After a while, the sound of the ceremony rang again.

"Ebras, did you hear it? They sent meat to the store!"

"I said, this is Brezhnev."

"How can they be right?"

190.

Khrushchev came to visit the avant - garde art exhibition.

"What is the damn green point and yellow point?"

"This painting, Comrade Khrushchev, is a plan that shows our heroic farmers to work hard to complete the production of 200 million tons of grains."

"Ah ... oh ... what about this pile of black triangle and red bar?"

"This painting depicts our heroic industrial workers in the factory."

"What about the fat buttocks with ears?"

"Comrade Khrushchev, this is not a painting, it's a mirror."

191.

An old man and his grandson looked at the river in front of him.

"Grandpa, is this place called Chelnobelli? Is there a nuclear power plant here?"

"Yes, my child." Grandpa said the child's head.

"Did it explode one day?"

"Yes, my child." Grandpa said the second head of the child.

192.

"Grandpa, thank you for this pet snake gift."

"This is not a snake, child, this is the cat of Chelnobelli."

193.

Soviet - style aging: an old man stopped by the door of the apartment, holding an empty pocket in his hand:

"How can I figure out whether I am going to go to the food store or just come back from there?"

194.

Scientists jointly demanded that Khrushchev went to a cancer treatment center. Khrushchev pushed off: "Thank you for your support, but I don't know about cancer."

Scientists have said: "Comrade Khrushchev, as long as you apply your experience in agricultural issues! As soon as you are responsible, the food will be gone!"

195.

Tas Society News:

"... Yesterday, a failure of the failure of Comrade Brezhnev in Moscow. The bullet - proof glass of the bullet penetrated the car, hit the medal on the chest of Comrade Brezhnev, and then rebounded and killed the driver. "

196.

Q: Can you use banana as a compass?

Answer: Yes. Put the banana on the Berlin wall.

197.

Grandma, how about Lenin? "

"Of course, grandson, he is fine."

"What about Stalin? Is he bad?"

"Bad, of course bad."

"What about Khrushchev? What is he?"

"When he dies, we know."

198.

Stalin spoke:

"Today we have two issues to discuss. First, we need to shoot all members of the Politburo. Second, we need to apply the Lenin tomb to bright green."

A timid voice came from the auditorium:

"Why is it bright green?"

"Very good, I know that everyone has no different opinions on the problem."

199.

The world will conduct awards for the best books on elephants.

The French submitted a book "Research on the Triangle Love in Elephant Family"

The British submitted a set of "Elephant and World Trade"

The Germans submitted a set of 24 volumes of "Elephant Scholarship"

The United States has issued a million copies of leaflets, which says: "Win the elephant, no need to buy."

The Soviet Union submitted three volumes of books, as follows:

"Volume 1: The role of Elephant in the Great October Revolution"

"Volume 2: The Happy Life in the Light of Elephant Elephant in the World in the World"

"Volume 3: Soviet - Elephant's Motherland"

200.

A guardian of the Soviet Prison asked political prisoners:

"How long is the sentence?"

"ten years."

"What crime did you commit?"

"No crime."

"You lie! They just sentenced them for 5 years without crime!"

201.

The Soviets, French, and Americans argue what is the most brave.

The Americans said: "For example, we have ten cars, one of which has no brakes. We draw a lottery, and each person takes a mountain road. In the end, one of us was hospitalized, and the other nine went to see him."

"This is nothing." The French said, "We choose 10 girls, one of which is AIDS. We draw a lottery, one person finds one girl. The last person was hospitalized, and the other nine went to see him."

The Soviets said: "We gathered in the apartment, even if we knew that there was a tentative person in us. We told the political jokes one night, and then the nine people went to prison and went to see them."

202.

A man bought a truth newspaper in the newsstand.

The stall owner asked curiously: "Comrade, you buy a truth newspaper here every morning, but you will throw away without opening it. Why?"

The man replied: "I am only interested in the front page. I am waiting for a cricket."

The stall owner is strange: "But there is no puppet part on the front page?"

The man replied: "I promise you, the first version I want to see the puppet meeting."

203.

In 1978, Brezhnev suggested that President Urho Gikoning (President Finland) cancel the border between Sufen. Jikonin was originally interested, but later refused.

Because he thinks he is too old, it is difficult to manage such a large country.

204.

Brezhnev saw a person carrying watermelon home on the road. He stopped the car and greeted the man and asked the man to sell the watermelon to him.

"Okay, Comrade Brezhnev." The man said, "You choose one."

"There is only one watermelon."

"That's it when we choose you."

205.

A teacher led her student through the park and saw a little white rabbit on the road. His students are all in the city and have never seen white rabbits.

"Do you know what this is?" The teacher asked. no one knows.

"Children," the teacher tried to guide the students' ideas, "He is the characters in many stories, songs and poems we often read."

A student hurriedly saluted the bunny and said respectfully: "You look like this, Grandpa Lenin!"

206.

Stalin went to watch a Soviet comedy movie premiere. When the film was broadcast, he laughed happily, but at the end of the movie, he suddenly asked:

"Well, I like this movie. Why why the ugly horn is the same as mine?"

Everyone was cicada, and only one person proposed them timidly: "Comrade Stalin, do you want the actor to shave the beard?"

Stalin replied: "Good idea, shave the beard before shooting."

207.

Stalin found Radicic:

"I know you are spreading a joke about me. This is rude."

"why?"

"Because I am the great leader, mentor and friend of all people."

"Heaven and earth conscience, I haven't told anyone about this joke."

208.

A woman walks into a food store.

"Do you sell meat?"

"No."

"What about milk?"

"We only deal with no meat here, and there is no milk on the opposite side."

209.
At the Olympic Games, the Soviet Union threw iron cakes (Note: The iron cakes are "hammer" in English, Hammer) players broke the world record. The reporter interviewed him and asked:

"How did you throw the hammer so far?"

"If you put a sickle again, I can throw it out twice."

Original link:
[Knowing the Xinghe Bubble: Soviet (Su Xiu), Eastern Europe and Cold War Joke Collection (8)] [2]