157.
Six major puzzles of Soviet society:
First, no one is working, but the plan is always completed;
- The plan is always completed, but the (store) counter is always empty;
Third, the counter is always empty, but no one is hungry;
Fourth, no one is hungry, but everyone is not happy;
Fifth, everyone is unhappy, but no one complains;
- No one complained, but the prison is full of people.
158.
In order to solve the problem of butter shortage, the Politburo requested Soviet scientists to study technology, make feces into butter, and completed during the anniversary of the October revolution.
After six months of work, the Politburo asked for progress. Scientists reported that they achieved 50%success. The Politburo requested the explanation, and the response was as follows:
"People can already apply it to bread, but they will not eat yet."
159.
One night, Eri Eunx (East German leader) and her lover whispered in the luxury bedroom. He was so comfortable, and generously promised her a gift, and everything could be.
She thought for a while and replied, "Oh, Erich, if you let you do something for me, I hope it is: open the Berlin wall, one day is enough."
Oneck said, "Of course no problem, dear."
However, he was puzzled by her request, and asked, "Why do I do such a thing?"
Lover replied, "I just want to enjoy the two - person world alone with you."
160.
A Jewish application for immigration to Israel. According to him, his brother was very ill in Israel and needed help. The office official asked him:
"Then why don't you let your brother come here, but want you to go in person?"
"My brother is sick, but I have not had a mental illness yet."
161.
Question: What if Greenland will be in the Soviet Union?
Answer: First of all, snow will only be off when there is a ticket, and secondly it will only be assigned to the KGB officer and their families.
162.
-This wife has studied at the cooking school for three years.
-Wow, then her cooking must be very good?
-We, they just learned the 20th Congress of the CPSU.
163.
-Mad, can you give me a set of sets?
-Well, don't lose it, son, we will get the car after seven years!
164.
Two prisoners in prison are communicating experience.
-"Are you arrested for political crime?"
-"Of course. I am a pipe worker and was called to repair the water pipe by the committee. I looked at it and said,‘ the whole system should be changed ’, so I was sentenced to 7 years.”
165.
Stalin reported at the party congress. Suddenly someone sneezed.
"Who sneezed?"
silence.
"Standing in the first row! Stir them!"
The first row of people was killed. Stalin asked again:
"Who sneezed?"
No one answered.
"Standing in the second row! Stir them!"
The second row was also shot.
"Who sneezed?"
In the end, a choking voice sounded in the hall: "It's me, it's me!"
Stalin said, "Be careful of your body, comrade, don't catch a cold!"
166.
Q: What is the difference between the United States and the Soviet Constitution? Isn't it guaranteed to be free?
Answer: Of course, the US Constitution also guarantees freedom after speech.
167.
A person parked his car on the red field of Moscow. The guards hurried come and roar at him:
"Are you crazy? This is the government!"
"No problem." The man replied, "My lock is strong."
168.
Question: Can the cars produced by the Soviet Union may run to 120 kilometers per hour on the road of the Soviet Union?
Answer: May, but only once.
169.
Q: What is the first batch of humans?
Answer: We all know that people have evolved from orangutan. Therefore, we must admit that the first humans include: Ape man, Jewish, chimpanzees, Georgian, gorillas and Russians.
170.
Q: What is a Russian business?
Answer: Steal a basket of vodka, sell it, and then buy Vodka with money.
171.
A rabbit in the Soviet Union ran wild on the street.
"You run so fast, what are you panic?" A deer asked.
"Don't you know? They are now arrested all the camels, and they have to castrate them."
"But you are a rabbit, not a camel."
"Yes, but assuming that they caught you, you can prove that you are not a camel after they cast off you!"
172.
When a tourist traveled on Leninrad, he fell into the construction of the water ditch because of slippery wrestling.
"In the United States, a red flag will be erected in dangerous places to avoid danger!"
"The same is true in our country!" The tour guide said, "Did you not see the red flag erected when entering the country?"
173.
The teacher asked, "Friz, why do you always say" our Soviet brother "? It should be said to be a 'Soviet friend'."
Frizz responded: "Okay, but friends, you can choose."
174.
Q: Does the Soviet people really do not need stereo audio equipment?
Answer: In principle, yes. Almost all the things people hear from all directions are exactly the same.
175.
Q: Is the condition of our labor camp really great?
Answer: In principle, yes. Five years ago, one of our listeners had doubts about this, so he was sent to investigate on the spot. He really likes there, and he hasn't returned so far.
176.
Question: Is Vladimir Maliacovsky really committed suicide?
Answer: Yes, it is indeed, and even his endless words are still saved:
"Don't shoot, comrades!"
177.
[Note: Margaret Hilda Sachel, he served as British Prime Minister from 1979-1990.
Hermut Cole was the German Prime Minister from 1982 to 1998.
Erich Elh, a German politician, and the last formal East German leader.
Standing Usinevich Kelnian Division, Soviet politician, Soviet party affairs and state activist]
Satchel, Cole, Eunx, and Kerrnike sat in a bar in a gap in the summit.
At first, Kerrno stood up, tearing his shirt, and proudly pointed at his fluffy chest and said: "
"This is the coniferous forest belt of Russia!"
Mrs. Sachel was unwilling to show weakness, and she also torn her clothes and said: "
"Look here, sir, these are two high - quality pounds!"
Cole made a disdainful gesture and a meaningful expression. He took off his pants and revealed his butt and said:
"Here, what you see is divided Germany."
Others were stunned, and no one knew so far to know that Germany was so huge.
Now, Oneck feels pressure. He stood up, tightened his crotch, and cleverly countered Cole and said:
"This is the background, I swear to you, this stuff will not become higher anymore."
178.
At the meeting, the chairman of the farm has given the Soviet regime how much benefits to ordinary people:
"You see Maria Petrovna, she was originally an ordinary farmer, but now he manages a club; you see Bieraia Femolodona, it turned out to be an ordinary farmer, and now manages a library; You see Stepan Metra Fatsqi, it turned out to be a full fool, but now it is a senior cadre of Bolshevik. "
179.
East Germany's Elornh (Simongster) people heard that the Japanese tested the sealing of the car in the car in the car: three days later, if the cat suffocated And death, then the sealing performance of the parts is qualified.
The Elornahe people who love to fight for the first time decided to follow the same way, using the same way to test the Valterburg car. Three days later, if the cat stayed in the car and did not run away, the parts were determined to be seal.
180.
Onec knocked on Peter's door after his death, and the latter watched him and asked, "Are you going wrong? Go to hell!"
Half a year later, the two little ghosts knocked on Peter's door.
Peter: "You don't belong to this!"
They replied, "No, we are the first refugees!"
181.
The KGB staff came to Khrushchev's villa and reported to Khrushchev's irony that he had circulated on the market. On the way to the villa, the staff appreciated the garden carefully taking care of Khrushchev, so he said at the beginning:
"Nikita Sergeyevich, you live a good life!"
"Well," Khrushchev replied, "Soon all Soviets will live like this."
"Excuse me," the KGB staff asked in surprise, "Who is talking about jokes? Is it or me?"
182.
We know the news of the world
——In the refutation and rumors of Tas Society.
183.
(Eri Eunx, East German leader)
Oneck stood on the balcony in the morning: "Good morning, dear sun!"
The sun replied, "Good morning, Comrade Onec!"
Oneck stood on the balcony at noon: "Good at noon, dear sun!"
The sun replied, "Good at noon, Comrade El!"
Oneck stood on the balcony at night: "Good night, dear sun!"
The sun replied, "Go to death, the devil! I'm in West!"
184.
Gorbachev. A man comes to the tavern .....
Men: "Lai Binger Vodka!"
The waiter: "10 rubles."
Man: "Last time or 5 rubles, why ...?"
The waiter: "5 rubles of Vodka, and the other 5 rubles are the party's revolutionary fund."
The man reluctantly took out 10 rubles and handed it to the waiter.
The waiter found him 5 rubles again.
Man: "Why did you find 5 rubles again?"
The waiter: "The wine is all selling light."
Original link:
[Knowing the Xinghe Bubble: Soviet (Su Xiu), Eastern Europe and Cold War Joke Collection (7)] [2]
Collection of Soviet, East German and Cold War jokes（7）
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